dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize