please come you make the beer taste better
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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