Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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