My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
