Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
