I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
