I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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