Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Small penises have feelings too.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
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I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
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Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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