you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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