It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
honey bunches of taint.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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