The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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