I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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