this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize