take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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