then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
