Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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