I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
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Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
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Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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