I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
