I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
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The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
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Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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