When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
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Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
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Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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