I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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