I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
