Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
