i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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