that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
