forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Every concussion has its silver lining
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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