I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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