thus making me awesome and them whores
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
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