Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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