Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
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On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
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I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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