Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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