i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
