marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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