Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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