Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
