I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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