I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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