Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He felt like a one man threesome
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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