I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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