You can't special order awesome
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize