Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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