Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.