she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
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A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"