i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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