omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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