Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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