my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
