I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
