ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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