Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread