I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????