How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?