Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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