her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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